You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
