this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
