this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
