what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
