her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
