I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I bet he comes in French.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
