I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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