I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize