She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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