Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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