if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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