Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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