I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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