Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
