We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
