a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
