yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
