The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
