you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
