Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
