I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My bed smells like the plague
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