we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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