You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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