I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
