he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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