suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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