So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
