i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
