mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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