After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize