Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize