i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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