My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
