i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
