fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I believe in your delicious
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
