ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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