I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
