I just made out with a guy for $7.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
