we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
