I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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