Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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