I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
