i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
