is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
