you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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