Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize