At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
