i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
