It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
