One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize