kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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