i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
