You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
