Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
