he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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