all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
