a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
