Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
