What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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