I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
