shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
