On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
