We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
