I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
